Confession: I
am a Netflix junkie. I don’t feel right in saying movie junkie since most of
the movies you can view on Netflix are not popular movies. Of course there are
those good oldies that everyone has seen a hundreds of times. However, most of
the movies provided for instant watching are generally from independent films,
like the one I watched yesterday; which brings me to the interesting things
this movie brought up. To those who are curious the movie was The Ugly People.
I do not recommend it, for it was not that entertaining.
In one part
of the movie there are two people having a conversation... (original huh).
Anyway, they are friends from back in college and the male has just found out
the female is cheating on her husband and has been for a while. He tells her
that an affair is not an act of selfishness but shows that they are lonely. He
then goes on to say it is caused by both people in the marriage 50/50. So, if
you cheat you aren’t selfish you are lonely. So, that brings me to thoughts on infidelity. For me, I can see the lonely aspect of things. In a relationship, partnership, and/or marriage, it certainly requires both parties to be vested. However, just because someone feels lonely doesn’t give them the right to cheat. Let’s take the spouses of soldiers for an example. If their spouse is deployed they are going to get lonely, yet they still manage to remain faithful. Well, some manage to remain faithful and others do not. This can’t be blamed all on loneliness though. For me it brings up self-control.
We are all
human and crave attention and positive comments. It is always nice to hear
something nice about yourself and often times hearing it from the gender you
are attracted to makes it better. So how do we stop ourselves from developing
feelings for someone who is paying attention and who is accessible? Is it human
nature to seek those positive feelings? I think so. I think we all crave that
and want it. Even the most hateful person still searches for someone who will
make them feel better about themselves. So, if spouses offered this would we
still seek it elsewhere? I would like to think that we would not. If we are in
a relationship where all our needs are being meet then the likely hood of
stepping outside that relationship decreases. So, the thought of someone in a
relationship not turning to another does makes it a 50/50 thing. Half of the
relationship has to put forth more effort to satisfy their half and the other
half has to practice some self-control and realize there is NO perfect
relationship. Movies are just that… movies, written by someone using fantasy,
not real life.
Knowing
this, why do we continue to struggle with divorce, break-ups, and single
parenthood? My theory… we don’t try. Often after marriage people just let
things fall away. Those little romantic things we once did are no longer
important. The children need something, the house needs something, or our jobs
demand something, so our significant other suffers. What would it take for
people to do this… a few minutes to say something nice? Seems worth it to me.
