One word cannot describe who I am. I am very complex but simple, loud but quiet... I am a constant contradiction to myself.

Sunday, July 22, 2012

Blogging... the public diary...

Instead of hiding our diary under the mattress or putting an easily opened lock on it, we have decided to broadcast our thoughts and opinions to friends, family, and strangers. Welcome to blogging!!!

Blogging is filled with emotions of life including the pain, sad days, and the happiness. Instead of writing it down on a sheet of paper and finding a good hiding spot many of us have decided to allow others to read our thoughts. Our intimate thoughts that go on in our heads but feel like they should be heard.

Many of my thoughts are expressed to me and to my blog. I have several very close friends and a husband who would pretend to listen to my rambling but really why bother when I can just blog about it. Also, if someone takes the time to read my blog than obviously I have caught their attention in some way which saves my friends. So thanks to my blog readers, I am sure my friends are grateful.  

 I blog about my fears and I blog about things I would not be able to say in person without offending the general population that surrounds me. It is amazing how much people get offended by something that does not even concern them, nor relate to them. My job requires me to distance myself from the tragedy faced by many I speak with. I am able to do so without many problems. It may be cruel but... if it does not affect my life then I do not think I should worry about it. Now I say this in reference to things I deal with. No things like world hunger and abused children. When it comes to those issues I believe it should be everyone's problem. Back to the whole reason for the ramble here... people get offended by facebook status updates, twitter updates, blog entries, and the list goes on. Seriously... who cares!! I say, get over yourself. The person who posted it was very likely NOT thinking about you, so stop thinking it is about you!

Saturday, July 14, 2012

Statistics Don't Mean Much To Me

So, my anniversary is coming up. My husband and I got married when we were both 20 years old and will celebrate 6 years in November. It has not been the easiest years of my life but the challenges have made me grow as a person.
My husband and I were married the first of November and found out we were expecting our first child around 5 days after we said I do. There was not a “honey moon” phase because we immediately needed to grow up. Of course I found it was much easier for a woman to do than a man.
We welcomed our son into the world in July 2007. Having a new baby and a new marriage at the same time was not in our plan, but sometimes our plans are not right anyway. So we were then 21, newly married, and with a newborn child and things were rough. I won’t go into detail because this is a public blog, but I will just say that lies can kill marriages really quick.
Both of us lied to the other and did things behind the other’s back. No one can claim they were perfect except our child. Although we continued to stay together for years after the struggle we did have a brief two week separation last year. In those two weeks I learned a lot about myself and what I wanted in life.
I wanted a husband who made me feel butterflies, and made me feel like romance novels proclaim love should “feel” like. But I had a husband who loved me, who was a good father, who was honest, loyal, and who was my best friend. It was not my husband who caused the final straw to break but me and my unrealistic ideas of what should be.
Real love is not like a romance novel or the movies. Real love is what happens in real life. The respect you have for someone, the loyalty you feel for them, and the happiness they bring into your life.
I am glad my husband and I decided to work through everything we have been through. Although obstacles will still come up I can guarantee it will NEVER be like it was before and we will work together to make it through the next ones. We will not become part of the statistic.

If you're a married American, your marriage is between 40 and 50 percent likely to end in divorce.
If your parents were divorced, you're at least 40 percent more likely to get divorced than if they weren't. If your parents married others after divorcing, you're 91 percent more likely to get divorced. (our parents are divorced and got re-married)

Yes.. I am from Kansas...