One word cannot describe who I am. I am very complex but simple, loud but quiet... I am a constant contradiction to myself.

Monday, February 25, 2013

Our Messed Up System

In my mind I had this idea to go to graduate school. I was so excited when I found the college that was perfect for me. It is online, non-profit, and I can finish in a year. Also, the cost was not very high compared to the price of my Bachelors. My BAS in Human Services and Victim/Survivor services cost me around 35,000 dollars. My Master’s degree in HS and marriage and family counseling would only be 14,000. I say “only” very lightly because that is actually a LOT of money, but cheap as far as higher education in the US. After finding the school, applying, and getting accepted I found out the bad news.

Apparently I do not qualify for federal assistance because I have a Bachelor’s degree. In fact, my fafsa stated “You do not qualify for grants because you have an undergraduate degree. You do not qualify because you are seeking a graduate degree.” Ugh!!  Now I am searching online for scholarships, grants, and loans for graduate degrees. So far I have not had much luck. I have applied for several scholarships in the past but have never received them. This year I am going to do a different route and choose essay scholarships. Hopefully I will obtain some money for school.

If I do not receive the funds my education will be at a standstill. I cannot afford to pay the money out of pocket. So without some aid I will just have to stick with my Bachelor’s. Maybe I will be one of those people who go back to school at the age of 40 because I MAY be able to afford it by then.

 I find it so frustrating that as a middle class family I cannot afford to attend college, nor do I qualify for assistance. However, if I quit my job and live off the government I can get all my school paid for. Too bad I have values and self-worth…

Sunday, February 17, 2013

Going Green

So I decided on going a little bit more green. I am not the type of person to drive an electric car. Not saying I wouldn’t I just can’t afford one!!! I also like to be able to pass people at a reasonable speed rather than slowly creep past them long enough for them to memorize my face. Hence, my ability to be pulled over twice in two days. Although that was completely off track of what I was initially going to talk about, so back to the original topic of this particular blog. Going green.
Anyway, my first step is homemade laundry soap. I have heard many people talk about using it and how it works, so I have decided to jump on this bandwagon. I am tired of paying 20 dollars or more for laundry detergent that barely gets my clothes clean. I am allergic to most detergents so I have to us a hypo allergic form of soap. So, I am going to try to make my own.
Ingredients are: boarx, hammer super wash baking soda, fels-naptha laundry bar soap
Things you need: a cheese grader, bowl, and an air tight container to store the soap in.
So, it seems pretty simple, and like I said, many people say it works. I will be the next person to make my own soap and save money.. maybe… I am not sure how it will go but the items needed are only going to cost me about 10 dollars. The actually ingredients are only about 6.50 but I have to buy a cheese grader. I have no idea why I don’t own one.. apparently I never have needed one in the 8 years I have lived with my husband.
Anyway, I will let you know how it goes as soon as I find the time between two jobs and grad school to mix it up! Then maybe I will try to make my own shampoo and conditioner.

Sunday, February 10, 2013

They Say It's Your Birthday

10 more days… 10 more days until I turn one year older. My birthday usually consists of me going to work. Or it has since I started working at a young age. I don’t know what it is about birthdays but I don’t like them, at least when they are mine. I feel like the day should be special and it never is. Or at least it does not reach my level of special. When I was younger I always wondered if the man known as my father would call, or forget me. My mother could do something really special and it still wouldn’t meet the “special” criteria because the phone call never came.
As I got older my birthdays became less important. The important birthdays were those of my child and my friend’s children. Of course I would still text my friends, call, or facebook them on their birthdays but it really does become about the kids.
Last year I worked (of course), and I was not very happy with myself. I felt like I had not accomplished much in my life. This year I am happy to have accomplished so much in the past year. Honestly it has been a year of changes, and I am sure there are many more to come.
My birthday will be here in Feb 21st and I will be 27 years old. Not very old in many people’s minds but I often feel the numbers do not match my mind. I will of course be working all day, but that is fine. I have the weekend after my birthday to celebrate. And celebrate I will because I planned my own “special” time this year and I look forward to it!